One Needn't Work At Being An Idiot
by Upside-down Jupiter
Summary: One-shot. As usual, things don't work out quite as Kurea hopes. Who cares if it builds character, anyway?


_I __hope __nobody __can __see __me __doing __this__. __It__'__s __so __undignified__, __all __this __grunting __and __heaving __just __trying __to __lug __this __little __moron __around__. __Really__, __who __would __believe __that __a __human __being __could __have __this __much __mass __compressed __into __such __a __tiny __volume__? __I __bet __any __second__, __I__'__ll __start __sweating__, __too__. __Ugh__._

Just then, Minori shifted her weight slightly and nearly sent Kurea tumbling back down the stairs.

"Don't you dare move," she muttered. "I warn you now, I'll just leave you lying on the steps right here if you do that again."

"Don' haveta to get all touchy about it, just bring me the cow and the sack of sugar and tell the villagers they're safe for another few days... lunchtime..."

"How is it even possible for a person to literally eat themselves into unconsciousness, and still dream about eating?"

No response was forthcoming.

"And why did _you_ have to live all the way up _here_? I mean, I know you're hyper and stuff. Some of that _was_ my fault with all the candy, probably, maybe, and I can see these stairs saving us all from you running completely amok, but _jeez_. They just...like... Really."

As she huffed her way up the next flight of steps, Kurea felt the dreaded beads of perspiration breaking out across her forehead at last. _Gross__. __It__'__s __gonna __run __into __my __eyes __now__. __And __then __I__'__ll __probably __have __to __go __wash __up __and __do __laundry __and __all __sorts __of __crap __I __don__'__t __want __to __be __bothered __with __when __I __could __just __be __doing __the __things __I __like __to __do__. __Thinking__, __and __existing__! __Stuff __like __that__. __Stupid __Minori__._

"Oof. One more set of these freaking stairs to go, and then your room's just down the hall. You better be damn grateful."

"Hold the onions!"

"Brat," she snorted. She tried to ignore the ache in her legs and the uncomfortable rivulets of what was preferably, if not quite _hopefully_, sweat trailing down the back of her neck as she started on her way up again. "If you're drooling on me, Minori, I swear to god... Ow! What the...? I'm warning you, I do _not_ taste like chicken when I'm angry! Or even under normal circumstances, so don't get any ideas!"

"Heeheee... But how did Kuga-san get caramel sauce all over...?"

"Oh, come _on_ now, for serious." She managed to adjust her position enough to swat her partner on the head. "Drooling and biting on me are one thing, but saying things like _that _is just _nasty__! _Still, so far, so good on the not-being-seen front, at least."

"My, my... Should I have someone fetch you a towel, Hoshikawa-san?"

"Aaaugh, why? Kaicho, why are you here, of all places?"

"Merely passing through as the wind calls me, though it never seems to lead me astray, this clearly proving no exception to the greater rule."

"So you'll move along now, as there's clearly nothing interesting going on here?" Kurea grimaced as her shinyu took the opportunity to snore loudly and directly into her ear.

"No. Not when I can watch you put forth so much effort on behalf of your partner. It's truly touching."

"Nonsense," Kurea wheezed, attempting to draw herself up to her full height. Several plans, both cunning and implausible-but-violently-satisfying, were playing themselves out in her head. "You-you know me. If it were... oof... any effort at all, I wouldn't have bothered. Now please move aside."

"Keep telling yourself that. But the truth is clear to those who are observant enough. Already, you have put to rest some of that deadly pride of yours..."

"Pride of _mine__, _huh_..._ If I were you, I'd watch your back."

"Ah, and here I was all set to watch my _leg_ and leave custody of my back to my dear Shizuku. But now I have my eye on _you__,_ Hoshikawa-san. I trust I will continue to be amused?"

"Far, far too easily."

"Well, I'll let you continue on your way, then, if your back can hold both your shinyu and some small measure of my approval. Keep up the good work!"

"AAAAARRRGGGH!"


End file.
